Monday, March 25, 2013


Hypnotherapy is a service business.
By that I mean, hypnotherapists, just like any other practitioner of a business,
offers their services for a fee.

If your faucet breaks you call a plumber, he comes to your home and using his expertise,
experience and inventory, in the form of a new faucet, he repairs your sink
and in doing so, your problem.
You pay him and if you are satisfied with his work,
you would call him back for additional work if needed.

If you are in need of a hairstyle, you find a barber or a hairstylist
that follows your directions; has the skills you require
and if they do an exceptional job,
along with the tip and their fee for their service,
you will go back to that practitioner again and again.
If you truly like their work; if you find that no one else can offer you the service that
that hairstylist can and they are better than any other stylist you have ever used,
you will travel miles to where that stylist works.

If you feel the muscles in your back become tight,
you may find yourself needing the services of a chiropractor or massage therapist.
You may find their services extremely helpful and should the pain come back,
because you were happy with the work they had done on your back,
you would return to them for additional services.

All these services rely on repeated business for their success and that just makes sense.
Whether we are talking about plumbers, hairstylists, chiropractors,
massage therapists or doctors, lawyers or any other practitioner offering a fee-for-service
each one wants your repeated business.

All service industries are based on this simple fact.
For their business to survive they must satisfy the needs of their customers
and if they truly satisfied the needs of their clients,
they will be rewarded with repeat business,
so that their businesses will grow and they can continue
to offer their services to old and new clients alike.

Now none of the above should be surprising to you.
It does make complete sense that if you are running a business
you want your customers to continue to return.
So if I tell you this is true of all businesses, except HYPNOTHERAPY,
you may question me.

Why, you may ask do I say that?
The reason may not be as simple as what I’ve stated previously.
Using hypnosis as a therapeutic tool, to assist people with behavioral change,
is referred to as hypnotherapy.

Hypnotherapy has been used for centuries,
although the practice may not have been called “hypnotherapy”,
the procedure of using hypnosis to facilitate a positive change
in behavior with a client, called by any other name would be the same.

In an ideal situation the client would come to a hypnotherapist,
asking for assistance in changing an unwanted behavior
and after that very first session, leave the office
thrilled that that unwanted behavior no longer is troubling them.

Which brings us back to what I had said previously,
that hypnotherapy is different than other service businesses.
Whereas other service businesses seek out repeated business for exceptional service,
hypnotherapy by its nature eliminates repeated business,
by offering exceptional service.

A skilled hypnotherapist, who is dedicated to helping his clients,
should not see that person again,
because the initial problem that was presented
had been resolved completely in only one session.

I have been using hypnosis along with other therapeutic modalities
to help people change unwanted behaviors, for the past 13 years.
In that time I have noticed, that although my referral rate is high,
my repeat business (for the same issue) is very low.
What this means is, in my opinion, that people coming to me for my services,
which include smoking cessation, weight management, anger management,
sports academic and artistic performance, eliminating fears and phobias, etc.,
find that after only one or two sessions, the problem they came to change
or eliminate had been satisfactorily handled
and that they were satisfied enough to refer me to their friends
with similar issues, but found there was no need to return for continued hypnotherapy.
This is why I say,
that the indication that a hypnotherapist is successful,
is his having a smaller repeat business and a greater referral rate.

I have to smile, when new clients ask me for my success rate.
What I say to them is that if a hypnotherapist claims to have a high success rate,
I should question how that success rate is determined and
how the statistical evidence was gathered.

When I first speak with a prospective client who asks me about smoking cessation,
for example, and asks for my success rate with previous smokers,
I tell them, that it is very difficult to determine an accurate success rate.

In order to have an accurate success rate,
I would have to have follow-up calls,
at one month, six months, one year and five year intervals
and I feel that these calls may be viewed as intrusive
by my clients and so I don’t do them.
I do tell them, that by reviewing the referrals I get from the people
who are no longer smoking due to smoking cessation intervention
and how word-of-mouth referrals are the best advertisement for me,
I could say comfortably, that my success rate is good.

Friday, February 15, 2013


I’ve been a little frustrated lately,
wanting to put in a blog entry for a while but I’ve been just so very busy.
So, recently I sat at the computer, opened up a Word document
and prepared to do a blog entry about teaching and being a psychic
which will probably be my next blog entry.

As usual I had my Sirius online radio on and began to sing along with a song that came on.
I was enjoying the music and the beat and the memories it brought back.
But when I began to listen to the lyrics, I was somewhat shocked at what I was hearing.

It’s interesting these days, how my generation, the baby boomers look  at today’s music
and in particular, gangster rap as being so negative, cruel, sexist…
We look at the lyrics of the song writers of this time and feel somehow,
they are jaded, hardened by their lives.

But I’d like you to read the lyrics, from the song I was just listening to;
It goes…

“Well, I’d rather see you dead, little girl then to be with another man…
You better keep your head, little girl or I won’t know where I am.

“You better run for your life if you can, little girl, hide your head in the sand little girl,
catch you with another man, that’s the end, little girl…

“Well you know that I’m a wicked guy, and I was born with a jealous mind
and I can’t spend my whole life trying, just to make you toe the line.

“You better run for your life if you can, little girl, hide your head in the sand little girl,
catch you with another man, that’s the end, little girl…

“Let this be a sermon I mean everything I’ve said,
Baby I’m determined and I’d rather see you dead.

“You better run for your life if you can, little girl, hide your head in the sand little girl;
catch you with another man, that’s the end, little girl…

It was interesting as I was sitting listening to the music,
enjoying the memories they brought back,
knowing I had listened to those lyrics,
enjoyed the song,
enjoyed that time in my life,
and now listening to the lyrics realizing how dark they were.

And how much times have changed… Or have they?

Pretty nasty stuff, huh? Sounds like a homicidal maniac,
determined to kill his girlfriend before she could be with another man.

He’s aware that he’s jealous and he is telling her that.
He’s telling her, that she better watch out, he so jealous that he could kill her.
And I’m guessing she just might  stay with him.
Perhaps she could change his ways?
Those of you who are my age, you might recall the lyrics,
perhaps with a smile on your face.

For those of you who are too young, that really dark, pre-gangster rap group
was called, the BEATLES.
Yes the Beatles, perhaps the most popular band in history, with the most love musicians,
who, spouting peace and love, seemed to have a dark side.
It was a song on the “Rubber Soul” album called “Run for Your Life”…
Go figure.
So when us old folks, start to complain about the music of this younger generation,
with their crazy clothing, their outrageous hairstyles, the way they carry on,
let’s just look back to the 60s.
To the Ed Sullivan show and think about our parents
and remember them talking about those mop toped kids
with their crazy clothes and crazier ideas.

Think about the Doors, the Stones and all those amazing groups of our generation
that paved the way for these new amazing groups that our children and grandchildren are enjoying.

An old expression comes to mind,
“The more things change the more they stay the same”.
The more I scratch my head,
and look at the MTV music awards and the Grammy awards
wondering what is happening to our society,
the more I think of my father .
On February 9 1964 the family was watching the Ed Sullivan show
eagerly waiting for the first performance of the band
that caused an illness in the US called “Beatle-mania”
and asked if we could shut it off and put on the Lawrence Welk Show.

Sadly for my father, he was out voted 3-1,
my mother was also caught up in the contagion of Beatle-mania.

As I sit and play with my six-month-old grandson,
I wonder what kind of music he will be listening to in his teenage years.
I wonder if he’ll enjoy the music I listened to at that age
and will he enjoy the Beatles, Eric Clapton and the Doors, as his father, my son does.
I wonder when he, my grandson, becomes a grandfather;
will he be sitting with his grandson, playing and listening to music?
And will he be scratching his head as his grandfather did,
when listening to his grandson's music?

But there is one thing I don’t have to wonder about,
I know at that time when my grandson has his own grandson,
I will be watching over them and appreciating them from a completely different perspective.
View it on YouTube

Saturday, June 9, 2012


Making a Life Lesson from an old cliché.
I have just finished reading a new book
and for those of you, who know me,
know that
I am an avid reader of spiritual and metaphysical books.

There are specific books that have changed my life
and Dr. Paul Debell's book,
“Decoding the Spiritual Messages of Everyday Life”,
is clearly one of those life altering books.
I would place it at the same level as,
Dr. Brian Weiss'- "Many Lives, Many Masters",
Eckhart Tolle's - "The Power of Now",
James Redfield's - "Celestine Prophecy",
along with the works of
Neale Donald Walsch, Dr. Gary Schwartz and Gary Zukav.
Normally, I will go onto and surf around,
usually ordering 5-10 books that "call to me".
When I finish one, I’ll stand in front of my bookshelf
and scan the remaining books, asking
"which book do I need to read, now?"
the question is presented to "The Universe"
(God, my higher self, whoever is up there helping us)

Dr. Debell's book had been on my shelf for over six months.
Each time I ask,
"Which is the next book I need to read",
I felt "not yet” when looking at “Decoding… ",
so there it would sit.

A month ago I finished my last book
and once again, I scanned my book shelf
looking for which book called to me
felt it was time to read "Decoding..."
This book blew me away from the first page.
It is a slow read, not because it is difficult to read,
but because with each new page I had to stop,
in order to process the information being presented.

However, the most interesting point is,
that as experiences (messages)
were being presented to me in my life,

in "real time",
I was reading about them in the words
Dr. Debell had written, years earlier!
I found myself having to stop reading
and smile at the pertinence of the words he wrote,
in relation to what was happening in my life at that exact point in time.

This book has my highest recommendation.

So… You may ask,
“OK, but what does this all have to do with "Lemons?”
Allow me to go back in time a little.

In the early spring of 2012, had a bad cold...
It was presented to me in a very nice way
by one of my High School students
who walked up to me,
coughed squarely in my face
and asked for a pass to the nurse, because he felt sick.

“Thanks for sharing” I said
as I wrote out his pass,
with the anticipation of my own cold in the near future.
I didn’t need to be a psychic
to see my anticipated cold come to fruition
and it was a beast of a cold.
Hacking coughs that were so strong,
the muscles in my chest and back cramped…
I had to take some days off
and just stay in bed wallowing in the misery of being sick,
when the outside temperature was a perfect 70 degrees,
the birds chirped,
the sun was shining,
the sky was a beautiful blue

and I just wanted to die.
Well this monster of a cold lasted for about two weeks,
before I began to feel better.

But, I still have a residual cough that was really ticking me off...

I said things like,
"I can’t stand this! GOD... when am I going to feel better?”
"I forget what it was like to be able to take a deep breath without coughing up a lung!"

With each cough I whined more…
With each ache I complained louder…
Until I started to even annoy myself,
not to mention my wife,
who by this time had become immune to my relentless complaints.

Soon, I was finally feeling better and finished reading a book by
the American Psychic Medium Jane Roberts.
Again, I found myself standing in front of my bookshelf,
deciding which book was calling to me,
when my attention was drawn to Dr. Paul Debell’s
“Decoding the Spiritual Messages of Everyday Life”
but now  I knew that this was the time to read it.

As I was reading it,
I decoded the spiritual message
behind my recent battle with the cold from hell
and it came to me in the form of a large, bright yellow, juicy, lemon.
The quote from Dale Carnegie rang in my ear
-“When fate hands us a lemon, let's try to make a lemonade”-

And then “It” hit me...
If I was never sick...
If I was always in perfect health; all the time…
If I never had the experience of coughing so hard,
that my muscles ached or I was unable to catch a breath…

I would also never know the sensation
of the positive anticipation of good health
the joy that comes with the feeling that you are “getting better”.
I understood that if you don't have the bad...
You can never appreciate the good...

Another Life Lesson to remember when things are looking a little crappy :)

Monday, February 27, 2012

The Winter of 2012

A personal view of New Jersey.

I know that New Jersey gets a really bad rap sometimes.

Comedians love beating up NJ.

TV is also no friend of New Jersey

The Sopranos… We are all mobbed up and have a combined IQ of 23.
Boardwalk Empire… The story of the Soprano’s older brothers.
The Jersey Shore
These numbskulls aren’t even from New Jersey
they’re from Staten Island; my other home
Jerseylicious… Are you kidd’n me or what?
The Real Housewives of New Jersey … Really?!!
These are the “Real” Housewives? Don’t get me started;
this show makes “Mob Wives” look like a group of female
MENSA alumni discussing theoretical physics!

Now don’t get too envious, but my niece actually lives in Hawaii…
Yes the one place on Earth that could be called a true Garden of Eden
(as opposed to the real “Garden State”).
But if you live in that idyllic place,
where the temperature is always perfect,
the views are always spectacular,
the people are always friendly and beautiful,
In this perpetual perfection,
even Hawaiians say you become accustomed to its beauty.
I suppose that’s why people love to visit this paradise so often.

Now don’t get me wrong, give me the opportunity to live in Hawaii…
See how fast I’ll say “Seeyalater,  Jersey…
where’s my plane ticket!”  As I wing it to Newark Airport.

But I am happy to say I like New Jersey… most times

On October 28, 2011 we all experienced that crazy pre-Halloween
blizzard and I was caught in it,
driving from Saddle Brook to my home,
a 45 minute drive which took me 7 hours!!!
It looked like a war zone when I got home.

Power lines and  trees down,
cars mangled from multiple car wrecks...
What a disaster!

I was cursing the snow,
my tires,
the slow drivers in front of me and the maniacs behind me,
the missing plow trucks,
the lack of road salt
but mostly,
I was cursing the fact
that I was so incredibly stupid to venture out on that day at all.

And while cursing New Jersey,
I was wishing that I lived in Hawaii where they have no snow.

I thought that if the winter started in late spring,
we were in for one hell of a winter.

I pictured burning out my snow blower and all my fire wood…
I pictured ice dams on my roof and water leaks in the house…
I pictured driving through canyons of plowed snow in my neighborhood…
I pictured the last pile of snow melting away in late May 2012…

But one of the things I do love about our Garden State
is the change of seasons.
From summer to winter and back again,

I love the change of air temperature,
The heat of a summer day, the sun beating on your skin.
The shiver of the wind as it rips through your down parker
on a day when the wind chill factor reads -15 below.
The first hint of spring when the crocuses break through the soil
and the smell of blossoms fill the air.
The way the state looks, the change of colors…
But that winter didn’t materialize and neither did the snow.And now I do have one question…

Where the heck did winter go?

And to be quite honest…
I missed that winter of 2012 that never happened!


Friday, August 19, 2011

WORKING WITH SPIRIT - Posting 3 of 3

This posting would be too long for one posting so it is posted in three parts. In Parts 1 and 2, I relay my experience of being on “the platform” at a “Spiritualist Church Student Service”; what being a “Psychic/Medium” feels like when you are in front of strangers trying to “bring through”  messages from their loved ones who have passed away. In Part 3, I describe observing Janet Nohavec my tutor, pastor and perhaps one of the top ten best Evidential Mediums in the world today. I describe the masterful way she brings evidence and messages to people who have lost their loved ones and the uplifting effect these messages have on those who were there.

…After some other validations and a loving message,
I thanked Pat verbally for accepting my reading
and thanked her mother in my internal voice;
“Thank you Mom, for coming through and connecting with me so well”
I projected to the energy of her mother and I heard
“No… Thank-YOU… And I felt a kiss on my cheek!”
And as I walked back to the oak chair on the platform, I knew why I love doing this work…

Working for Spirit – Posting 3 of 3

Janet thanked me and Lena and stepped to the front of the platform.
I have seen Janet do readings during Sunday services
and years ago had a private reading with her.
She IS an amazing evidential medium.
So I was prepared to see her do a reading.

I expected her to do what she had been teaching her students for the past year.
Connect with a spirit communicator and get their
“Name Rank and Serial Number”.

I assumed she would give 8 – 10 pieces of evidence.
I assumed a few hands to go up in the audience, of those people who could accept all the pieces of evidence that Janet brought to them.
I assumed Janet would narrow the number of people wanting to make that connection down to one.

I assumed she would work with that one person
and give them one message.

I assumed Janet would “Wow” the congregation and me with more exact pieces of evidence. I knew that I would not be hearing
I have your Daddy here and he says he loves you”.
I knew the evidence that we would be hearing would be impressive.
I assumed we would be hearing an uplifting and inspiring message.
Well as the old saying goes “When you assume…”

I am aware of a man”… she started “he tells me he liked a ‘stiff shot of liquor’, but he was not an alcoholic”… No one responded.

I feel this man is with a couple in this area,”
pointing to the large family group.
Still no one acknowledged the spirit connection.
I am with this couple here”…
pointing to a man and a woman seated next to each other in the center of the group.
Still they shrugged looking at each other, the man looking uncomfortable.

She brought up a poker game.

He is now showing me a group of men playing poker”.
Two woman in the group looked at each other and then at the couple that Janet was addressing with a puzzled expression on their faces. But not puzzled by Janet’s evidence, puzzled and exasperated by their family members who were not accepting any or all of the information.

This couple was experiencing “Psychic Amnesia”, a condition that happens when you are being given information from a Medium, that because you are so excited to be called upon; and wondering who this person is; and being taken off guard; and a hundred other conflicting emotional reasons, that you completely forget who this person is, even if they were the closest person in the world to you.

At this point I think I would have folded or
at least I would have started to profusely sweat.

Janet didn’t bat an eye. She is so confidant in her connection with the spirit world that she was not going to leave this couple until they said that yes, they could take this man.

But still they shrugged; actually the woman shrugged, her husband looked like he wanted to crawl under his chair. You didn’t need to be a psychic to read this situation. I pictured his wife telling him he “really needed to go tonight; our whole family is going; don’t worry honey, these people aren’t going to call on you…”

Well I think this man got a lot more than he bargained for and as it ended up he got exactly what he needed to get…

I love Janet!
If it were me giving this reading and this couple who I knew the reading was for,
completely rejected my connection,
I would be looking to crawl under my own chair.
But I am a long way from having the confidence that Janet showed that evening.

She folded her arms in front of her and I saw her connecting with her spirit communicator, I saw her nodding as she was processing more evidence.

He says to mention a ‘Royal High Straight Flush’”…
And that was all it took.

It was as if 12 light bulbs went off over 12 different heads…
The whole family reacted with gasps, hands to the chest or mouth, smiles, awestruck faces…
The couple did not have to say anything the family’s reaction said it all.
Looking at the man again, Janet asked
Who is Tom?”
The man’s eyes opened as large as saucers
as he pointed at his chest and whispered, “Me”

More gasps from the large family.

Who’s Ruth?” Janet asked.
The man’s saucer eyes got even bigger
and his wife’s jaw dropped open he pointed at her with his thumb
as she ever so slowly raised her hand.
Her jaw wasn’t the only one that dropped.
Mine dropped with Tom and stayed that way for the rest of the reading.
Who is Tony”, Janet asked and the stunned couple replied
Our brother-in-law”.
 “The one who liked to play poker on Thursday nights and got the Royal High Flush?” she asked with a broad smile on her face as the couple smiling and crying nodded as did their whole family.
The whole audience laughed and was clearly amazed by this reading; not only did Janet know the name of her spirit connection;
she got the names of the couple who the reading was for
through Tony who is in spirit!
Now at that point I would have said
“Wow! That was an amazing reading!”
And if Janet had given this couple a message from their brother-in-law,
it would have been perfect, but Janet wasn’t through yet.

I saw her take a breath as if her connector was giving her something more. But she was not smiling as she had before.
Her demeanor became more serious
and I felt that the next piece of evidence was going to be powerful and it was.
She looked at the couple again, they were still smiling and clearly impressed that their Tony came thru to them.
Janet took a deep breath and stated quietly and compassionately,
You have lost a son; is that right?”

The woman gasped, nodding as she brought a handful of tissues to her face. Her family through their own tears were touching her to give her love and support.
Her husband, obviously holding back his own tears, handed her the box of tissues that was being passed around to their family.

Who is Joseph?” Janet asked quietly.

Our son” was the whispered response from the woman,
at which point her husband could not control
his hardened façade any longer and with a handful of tissues,
buried his face in his hands and gently wept
as his family placed hands on his back for support.

He says that he passed quickly and that he felt no pain…
He knows you have struggled with that;
He says he passed before the flames consumed the car…”
The weeping grew stronger and now their whole family was crying
along the rest of the congregation.
He says he sees his nephew at school and at the play; that it was good to see everyone laughing again
The crying slowed and was replaced with smiles and awe as Janet brought through more loving and healing validations and messages for Joe’s family.

After the service ended, Janet thanked Lena and I and Barbara the homilist. I felt driven to thank Janet for asking me to read, but what came out of my mouth, surprised me, I didn’t really think about it, the words formed almost by themselves.
Thank you Janet for asking me to read” I started
“As your student and a Medium, I am comfortable with readings and love watching an accomplished Medium, do their work,
especially the tutors you have teach us from Arthur Findlay College…
But I have to say, watching you this evening…
Well, if we were your art students and you were our art teacher,
showing us the use of color and form; how to use perspective and shading; teaching us how to paint a sunset on canvas using light and darkness…
Sitting on the platform tonight watching this demonstration of Mediumship that you just performed, was like watching Da Vinci paint the Mona Lisa;
all I can say is WOW!”.

I could not have assumed we would be witnessing a reading like the one we saw. The interesting thing was that afterwards, after the evening was done and my jaw was able to close when I spoke with Janet about her reading, she seemed to be surprised by my reaction to her reading. She thanked me but to her it was her norm; her method of Evidential Mediumship. It is what each and every student in her class strives to do.

I watched as Janet did, on the platform what she had been teaching us for a year.
She asked for, received and presented
“Name, Rank and Serial #”.
She brought names, dates, how their loved ones passed,
specific validations that had tears and laughter simultaneously.
The closure, relief and joy that that couple received was priceless
and exactly what they both needed to hear.
And again it was validated for me why I love to do this work so much.

(Last month I went back to the Omega Institute for Holistic Studies for a week workshop with James Van Praagh again. The next posting will be about my AMAZING experiences there)

Friday, July 29, 2011

WORKING WITH SPIRIT - Posting 2 of 3

This posting would be too long for one posting so it is posted in three parts. In Parts 1 and 2, I relay my experience of being on “the platform” at a “Spiritualist Church Student Service”; what being a “Psychic/Medium” feels like when you are in front of strangers trying to “bring through” messages from their loved ones who have passed away. In Part 3, I describe observing Janet Nohavec my tutor, pastor and perhaps one of the top ten best Evidential Mediums in the world today. I describe the masterful way she brings evidence and messages to people who have lost their loved ones and the uplifting effect these messages have on those who were there.

… After Lena’s evidence and message, she thanked the congregation and went back to her seat. Janet walked to the pulpit and said into the microphone, “Garry?” nodding towards me, I stood up and simultaneously said to the spirit of this woman I had felt,
Ok, mom… we’re up

Working for Spirita 3 Part Posting
Posting 2 of 3

Ok Garry…” my self-talk began by trying to calm myself down.
BREATH! Focus…”
You have done this before and you now truly believe in the process,
so put what you’ve learned from Janet into action”

I began to listen to this new supportive voice and it felt good!
I was not hearing any negativity…
I was confident that the spirit of this woman that I had communicated with,
wanted to connect with her children.
And I certainly wanted to help her; I knew that if her child was sitting in the audience,
she certainly wanted to hear from this woman, her mother.
I was ready.
Gone were the butterflies in my stomach.
Gone was that doubting voice in my head and I was ecstatic that I no longer heard it.
Gone was questioning if I could make a contact with a spirit.
Gone was the fear; of looking foolish; of failure; of public speaking
(that one I had been working on my whole life and now I did not feel it)
In my awareness even the congregation was gone.
All I wanted to feel was the energy of this woman
who I knew was a supportive loving mother;
I felt her and I focused on nothing but the connection
I had with her for only the briefest of seconds.

I have become accustomed to the physiological feeling I get when a spirit is close.
There is a tingling on the back of my neck,
almost like someone blowing on it.
This tingling which then runs up and down my spine,
is my first indication that I am connecting with a spirit.

Then the hair on my arms and if the spirit is strong enough,
the hair on the back of my neck will stand up.
This is when I begin a conversation with the spirit; in my head of course…

I know you’re a woman” I asked.
I “felt” the affirmative answer more than heard it…

I feel you were on your 70’s or 80’s when you passed
Again affirmative response.
My next question was “How did you pass?”

I am clairsentient, I feel what the spirit sends to me and at that split second,
I felt a sharp pain in my chest and my left arm
and I knew she passed of a heart attack or a heart related issue.

She showed me smoking in her youth, but not as an adult.
I then heard “Kearney”…

All this information came to me in a split second and I felt confident
that someone in the audience could connect with this woman.
I felt that after someone said that they could accept this information,
I would be able to get more evidence, prove the connection and then get a message.

So, I began to relay this information to the people in the chapel and at the same time,
I was drawn to a mother and daughter who were part of
the large family group that I saw in the parking lot.
I felt that this woman in spirit was the mother and grandmother to these two women.
I offered what I was receiving to the people in the chapel…

“I have a woman here who passed in her 70’s or 80’s…” I stated.
She was a mother and grandmother in this life…”
She says that she smoked in her youth but quit a long time ago…”
She hasn’t been gone for a long time, perhaps a few years…”
This information was new and came to me as I was giving the information that I had already received.

My awareness was again drawn to the mother and daughter in the family group. With each new validation I offered, they looked at each other smiling as if the connection I had was for them and I felt comfortable and confident that not only did I have a spirit, but I knew who it was for.

I continued, “She passed from either a heart attack or a heart related issue…” The mother and daughter looked questioningly at each other.

I just heard the word ‘Kearney’, I don’t know if is the town, a name or maybe she is referring to a circus?”

To my surprise, as I gave the information about Kearney, they seemed to disconnect with me, sadly shaking their heads as if to say that, although they wanted to connect, unfortunately, the information was not for them.

Equally unfortunate, for me, was that I went into my head.
This is what happens, to all mediums that are starting to hone their craft.
Once your sitter can’t or won’t to take the information you are offering,
you think the fault lies with you.

You instantly doubt if you even had a connection at all.
Your confidence levels drop like a stone;
you begin to question yourself as to why you are even doing this…

You kick the door wide open to have your “Doubter Part” make it’s grand re entry!
Which was something I was determined not to let happen again.

This situation, like the “from me to me” dilemma, I have posted about
can ruin a good reading/connection and destroy the fragile sense of confidence
that all beginning mediums struggle with.

I accepted that who I thought the connection was for, was not going to be the case,
I again asked the congregation if anyone could take any of the information and I repeated it once more…

"A 70 year old mother and grandmother, a smoker who quit early, who passed of heart issues, a connection with the word 'Kearney'”.
I looked around the congregation expecting to see a hand rise, but no one raised their hand.

My heart sank again…
No one…
NO ONE??? I stared to sweat, something Janet taught us not to do…

Always trust in your connection…” she stresses.
Easier said than done, though…

A bead of “flop” sweat formed at my hairline…
Never let them see you sweat…”
You are a professional, always stay in control

I started to “stroke” my chest, which was something that is neither in my nature to do nor one of my stress management tools.
But doing that caught my attention.

As I stroked my chest, I felt a chain around my neck and a cross…

Almost to myself, but loudly enough for everyone to hear, I asked
Why am I doing this?”, as I demonstrated stroking my imaginary chain.

I feel a chain and a cross in my hand…
This woman is telling me that she was buried with her cross
The connection was back; In fact, it was never gone,
it was just my confidence that was temporarily gone.

Instantly I was flashed my symbol for “NOT”; a red circle with the diagonal line threw it.
When I am shown this sign it usually means I am either wrong or
I need to be shown something different due to my misinterpritation.

I said to the audience, “No Wait… She wasn’t buried with her cross…
Bare with me for a moment here…”
as I tried to understand the conflict
between either being buried with her cross or not.

Symbols are a communication method that spirits use
to quickly relay information to Mediums.
For example, John Edward’s symbol for love is a yellow rose.
My symbol for Roman Catholic is a feeling of rosary beads
over my hands in a prayer position.

So when I received my “Not” symbol
when I said this woman was buried with her cross,
I asked and waited for clarification and I got it.

No, sorry, she wasn’t buried with the cross. There was discussion about burying her with the cross but it was decided that her granddaughter should have it

Immediately a hand went up in the back of the church, Carole a long time member of the congregation and an excellent Medium herself said
Garry, you’re with me! You have my mother!”…

I could have jumped right off the platform,
run to the back of the church and kissed her!
The flop sweat instantly evaporated!
The knot in my stomach untied and I felt the connection again, only stronger.

When she said that I had her mother, I felt a surge of energy…
A chill went up my arms and my spine;
a feeling I have found to be my validation that I truly do have a connection.

After some other validations and a loving message,
I thanked Carole verbally for accepting my reading
and thanked her mother in my internal voice;
Thank you Mom, for coming through and connecting with me so well
I projected to the energy of her mother and I heard
No… Thank-YOU… And I felt a kiss on my cheek!”

And as I walked back to the oak chair on the platform,
I knew why I love doing this work…

In "WORKING WITH SPIRIT -  Posting 3 of 3" (scheduled for posting on 8/19/2011) I describe an amazing reading done by Janet

Thursday, July 7, 2011

WORKING WITH SPIRIT – a 3 Part Posting

This posting would be too long for one posting so it is posted in three parts.
In Parts 1 and 2, I relay my experience of being on “the platform” at a “Spiritualist Church Student Service”; what being a “Psychic/Medium” feels like when you are in front of strangers trying to bring through messages from their loved ones who have passed away.
In Part 3, I describe observing Janet Nohavec my tutor, pastor and perhaps one of the top ten best Evidential Mediums in the world today. I describe the masterful way she brings evidence and messages to people who have lost their loved ones and the uplifting effect these messages have on those who were there.


On Sunday June 5, 2011 at 5:15pm, I was driving on Rt.287 North to the
Journey Within Spiritualist Church in Pompton Lakes where
I would be giving a Mediumship reading.
But this reading was going to be a new experience for me
and I am a big believer in the importance
of new experiences for the growth of your soul.

The Journey Within Church,
is a Spiritualist Church in Pompton Lakes NJ and is a member of the SNU,
The Spiritualist’s National Union

The Church’s Pastor, Janet Nohavec is a world renowned psychic/medium
and an amazing teacher.
She had invited me and about twenty other Mediums,
to join her school for Evidential Mediumship.
Her goal is to make us the best Psychic Mediums we are capable of being
and that means getting evidence, evidence and more evidence.

“...I have your father here…
Your father IS in spirit, isn’t he?
Well he is here and he says he is proud of you
will just not fly in Janet’s class.
Janet wants “Name, Rank and Serial Number”,
by that she means; she wants specific information from the spirit
that you are feeling, in a specific order
with no fuzzy fluff like...
Your mommy says she loves you”...
Janet says that is not a “Wow” reading and
there is no evidence from that statement,
that you are actually in communication with a spirit.

A wow reading is one that when it is over, everyone there;
The sitter,
You - the Medium
and The spirits that are there say...
"WOW! that was amazing

Janet is a tough teacher and I should know, being a teacher.
She also has one of, if not the most important attribute of a great teacher;
an absolute passion for her subject and in this case,
the subject is Evidential Mediumship.

I received a call from Janet about a week or two before,
asking me if I would be able to read at the Student’s service on Sunday evening.

I was so honored by her asking me
that I answered immediately with a resounding
SURE! And Thank-you for asking”.

Which was just before the annoying voice of my doubter part said
What are you crazy, what if you screw it up?”
I have learned to acknowledge that part of me
that is always causing self-doubt and
then try to ignore it;
perhaps it’ll stop one of these days.

In any event, If Janet had the faith in me, as a student, to “read” during the service, who am I to doubt her or say “no”.

So there I was driving on 287.

Having given myself extra time, I was cruising along at a slow 60 mph…
Just me and my increasingly annoying voice in my head.
Those of you, who know me, know that in my hypnotherapy practice,
I use Parts Therapy for many issues that trouble my clients.
Then, why, you may ask don’t I use it to treat this part of me that is so full of doubt.

Well the answer to that one would be a 10 part posting!
(Maybe at a future date)

As I entered the church’s parking lot with lots of time to spare,
I noticed that 4 cars had just pulled in and parked ahead of me.
There were about a dozen or so people huddled in a big group
animatedly talking with each other
and you didn’t need to be a psychic to know
they were all related and anxious about the experience they were about to have.

Once in the church’s beautiful chapel,
I met with two other students of Janet’s Medium school.
You could tell quite easily that we were all quite anxious and nervous.

Janet called us over to explain how the student service was going to work.

First, Barbara, you’ll be the homilist and will speak to the congregation then you both” pointing to Lena and me, “will connect with a spirit and give evidence and a message to someone in the congregation and then I will give a message

Before we walked onto the platform, I sat in the fourth row and closed my eyes.
Not only to center myself and get into the Medium mindset,
but to stop the old annoying frightened voice in my head
filling me with self doubts.
It seems to show up in my mind
as soon as I am about to read someone and always,
its timing is perfect to get me off my game.

What if you don’t get a spirit? I felt/heard it say…
You’ll look like a jerk, up there” it seemed to know exactly what I didn’t want to hear.
“…Mr. Wannabe Medium…” it said, spewing it’s venom and sarcasm.
Why do you do this to yourself?...” the voice was relentless…

Finally another voice in my head chimed in…
Shut-UP!” it said
He wants to do this so stop hindering him!”
This conflict has been going on for years, if not decades.
But now I began to pay attention to this new supportive voice.
I liked his supportive energy.
It knew what I wanted to do and now I decided to only listen to him…
My supportive part…
And it felt good…
It felt right!

It wasn’t so much listening to this new part/voice in my head as much as it was deciding to do what Janet has been teaching us…

Have faith in those spirits and they will never let you down.
Oh, and just say ‘screw it’ and have fun

Janet stood up and motioned to us to take our seats on the platform
and I began to put my supportive self to the test.
I also felt him sitting on top of my annoying doubter self.

So, the three of us,
Barbara, Lena and I stood and walked onto the platform with Janet,
sat down in the tall oak chairs on the platform
that were vibrating with the energy of the hundreds of Mediums
who had sat there over the years.

The service began with an address to the congregation by Janet,
who thanked all the people for being there
and explained what this special “Student Service” was;
that it was an abridged Spiritualist service
to provide experience to her students.
She went on to say that we would have a student homilist speak,
two students will give a reading each and
then she (Janet) would give a reading.

Janet had the music system cued up to “All You Need Is Love” by the Beatles
and we all sang along with John, Paul, George and Ringo.
Honestly, it felt a little awkward singing on stage
with the feeling that all eyes were on you.
But by the second chorus of “All you need is love…”
my energy was definitely picking up as I harmonized with John.

Janet introduced the homilist, who began giving her homily and I hate to admit it but I was distracted.

The same ego driven concern popped into my head once again
but this time I had anticipated it and was able to ignore it.
Janet consistently told us that when the butterflies are fluttering
in the pit of your stomach, just say
Screw it and enjoy yourself
and that was my intention.

Since my introduction to Metaphysics ten years ago
at a week long Past Life Regression Workshop with Dr. Brian Weiss
which peaked my interest in psychic phenomenon,
I have had an ongoing internal conflict between my ego and faith/trust.
After these ten years…
finally, my trust and faith have won the battle and now,
to my surprise, I am comfortable on the platform.

As I sat on the platform, knowing I was going to be asked soon to make a connection, I asked my Spirit Guides to give me a hand.

“OK guys… Time to put up or shut up…”

I began getting that familiar tingle up my spine, the hair on the back of my neck started to stand up and I thought…

Great! I have a link… thank-you God!”

I felt a woman, who had passed in her older 70’s or 80’s,
and was a mother and a Grandmother.

I thanked her for connecting with me and I asked her, if she could,
hold off until later when I am on the platform.

I began my self talk;
the set up I do prior to doing a reading.
Eyes closed now...
Slowing down my breath…
Expanding my energy out in front of and behind me…

Now I set my intention;

I want to make a connection with a person in spirit
who wants to communicate with their loved one
who is sitting in this place of love and light”…

I surround myself with the white light of truth…” I said my white light prayer.

Our father who art in heaven…” I said the Lord’s Prayer.

Lena wanted to go first. Even though she was clearly very nervous, she did fine.

“Hi I’m Lena…” She said to the congregation...

“Hi Lena” the congregation responded.
I smiled as I pictured an AA meeting.

I thought that when it was my turn, I’d mess up and say,
“Hi I’m Garry and I’m an Alcoholi… I mean a Medium…”.
Then said to myself that there is a time and place for everything
and this was certainly not the time to be joking around
and this is not the place for comedy.

Lena made a connection with a woman in spirit who was “taken” by Jake, one of our fellow students in Janet’s class who came to the service to support us, his classmates.

After Lena’s evidence and message, she thanked the congregation and went back to her seat.

Janet walked to the pulpit and said into the microphone,
“Garry?” nodding towards me,
I stood up and simultaneously said to the spirit of this woman I had felt,

“Ok, mom… we’re up”

In WORKING WITH SPIRIT Part 2 of 3, I describe my experience of connecting with the spirit of a woman whose daughter was sitting in the congregation.